Before I ever got pregnant, I began researching natural, unmedicated childbirth with a midwife. After much research, and many talks with Greg, I decided that I absolutely wanted to strive for. I'm not here to debate how you should give birth your child, but I knew that is what I wanted for myself and my baby.
Once I found out that I was pregnant, I wanted us to take a Bradley Birth Method class. It is a 12-weeks long, and there is a big focus on education for yourself AND your partner. The whole curriculum is focused on husband-coached childbirth. I knew I wanted Greg to be as prepared as possible, so I felt like this was totally the class we should take. The class was great, we both learned a ton, and it was really nice to meet other pregnant women who were going through the same stuff as you.
We decided that we wanted to have our friend (and photographer), Holly, be there during labor and delivery to take pictures. We also began searching for a doula. I searched and searched online, I chatted with several doulas, and we met with Candace from Amelia Mae Birth Services. Greg and I felt a connection with Candace immediately, and we knew she was who we wanted to be a part of our birth team. Between Greg, Holly, Candace, and my group of midwives, I knew that I had the best birth team possible to support me throughout my labor and delivery.
I had believed throughout my entire pregnancy that I would go late (between 41-42 weeks), but at 36 weeks, 6 days, I woke up having what I thought were contractions at 4:30am. I didn't want to wake Greg because I figured it was a fluke, but an hour later, I decided I wanted his support. We ended up at the midwife's office and Mary Ellen told me that she believed I was just dehydrated which could cause contractions, but I was dilated 3 cm and 70% effaced. She told me to drink 2 liters of water by the time I got home, lay down and nap, and if the contractions came back, I'd need to come back in to get checked to see if my cervix was changing. Well, they went away (thank goodness). The next night, I woke up in horrendous pain, but it wasn't like the contractions, it was constant sharp pain. Back to the midwife's office we went, and Pam told me that she believed it could be kidney stones. Go figure. I ended up having an ultrasound done of my kidneys and bladder, and they didn't see any stones, but they told me that didn't mean there weren't any. I was sent home with a prescription for pain medicine and told to rest and hydrate. I passed what I think was 2 kidney stones a day and a half later.
I declined cervical checks until my 40-week appointment. At that appointment, I was 3cm, 80% effaced and the babies head was engaged in my pelvis. I was disappointed that I hadn't made more progress, but kept trying to remind myself that 3cm is more than a lot of first time moms are before labor even starts. I just had a crap attitude until Holly said, "Well, at least you know you'll be meeting your baby in the next two weeks!"
On Saturday, (40 weeks-3 days) my friend, Valerie, from our birth class invited me, Greg and another couple to go out on their boat for the morning. We joked that maybe a bumpy boat ride would send us all into labor. We had a great time on the boat and swimming. I felt like I was having contractions, but I didn't want to say anything to the girls because we were all past our due dates. When we got back to the dock and off the boat, I leaned over and told Greg that I thought I was having contractions. He was like, "What?!" We got in the car around 2:00 because we had to get home to get ready for Brooks and Carter's birthday party at 4:00. In the car, I started paying a little more attention to my contractions. They were coming every 7-10 minutes, they were uncomfortable, but not terrible. I told Greg we'd still go to the party because in my head I was convinced my labor would last a really long time. I got in the shower at 2:45 and had Greg start timing them with the app he downloaded, they were 5 minutes a part, and starting to hurt. I got out of the shower and told him to text Candace and Holly to let them know what was going on. I tried to dry my hair (because I was still planning on going to the party), but had to stop because the contractions started hurting more and I felt like I needed to concentrate to deal with them. That's when I thought this could be the real deal.
I was trying to get as comfortable as I could because I wanted to labor at home for as long as possible. I would lean over on our bed, I was leaning on the birthing ball, and on my hands and knees. I asked Greg to fill up the bathtub because that helped when I had the contractions at 36+6. But, I got in the tub and the first contraction really hurt, and then the second one came and I almost jumped out of the tub because it was not helping with the pain at all. I ended up leaning against the door frame, Greg or on the birth ball.
By 4:00, they were coming every 2-3 minutes and lasting about 45 seconds. Holly told Greg to text her when I started moaning through them because that probably meant I was getting close to needing to go to the hospital. Well, the next contraction, I started moaning. Greg started running around, gathering our last minute stuff for the hospital bag. Candace asked Greg if we had called the midwife... ha! Nope. So, I called the midwife and she told me I should probably go ahead and come in since I needed antibiotics for Group B Strep. I (still convinced if be in labor for 18 hours), asked if we could wait, so I could labor at home for as long as possible. She laughed and said that I could wait until my contractions were lasting longer than one minute, then we should come and call her. About 3 minutes later, I was on my knees leaning over the birth ball when I had a contraction and thought to myself, "I can't do this anymore" which is a sign of transition, the stage of labor that comes right before pushing, so I was glad that Greg was getting everything ready to go. Then the next contraction lasted a minute and a half. So, Greg texted Candace and Holly telling them to meet us at the hospital. I made Greg call Cheryl (the midwife) back to tell her that we were on our way.
We arrived at the hospital at 5:30, we had to check in through the ER. At this point, I was having to moan really loudly and stop what I was doing to get through the contractions. We had to register (even though we had preregistered a month before), they were asking a bunch of questions, Greg and Holly were both pretty ugly to them because I needed Greg to help me cope, and we needed to get to a room. The L&D nurse got there, and they finally let us head upstairs. It took us a while to get to the room because I had to stop with each contraction, and I didn't want to ride in the wheelchair because sitting made the contractions hurt so much more. I had one right in the middle of the ER, and the nurse said one of the ER doctors looked mortified like "get that pregnant woman out of here!" Haha!!
Cheryl, the midwife, came in and checked me. Remember, I'm expecting to be in labor for hours, so I was shocked when she announced my progress. 8cm, 100% effaced, and she was at +1 or 2 station. My reaction was "WHAAAT?!" They got my IV line in and started the antibiotics immediately. I had to stay in the bed for 20 minutes so they could monitor the contractions and baby's heart rate. Candace arrived at the hospital, and she was surprised to hear my progress too. Sitting during the contractions was horrible, so as soon as the IV was in and the 20 minutes was over, I got up to labor standing. Cheryl just sat down, read over my birth plan, and watched me. I'll tell you something, for me, between contractions I felt totally normal. I was laughing and joking around with everyone, it was the strangest thing ever. I'd be moaning and swaying through the contraction, and then joking with Greg right after.
Around 7:15, Cheryl (and everyone else apparently) noticed a change in the way I sounded during the contractions. She asked me if something felt different to me with the last contraction. I told her I didn't know, so she asked me to go try and use the restroom. I thought that was insane, but I got up and made my way into the bathroom. The first contraction that I had on the toilet, I was pushing. I said, "I think I'm pushing!!!" Cheryl laughed and said, "Yes, you are." Ha. She sat across from me on the edge of the tub and Greg squatted next to me. I pushed on the toilet for a good while, my water broke while I was there. My favorite story from labor is Greg's reaction to my water breaking. He was holding my hand, I was pushing/screaming with my eyes closed and when it broke he jumped like he'd been shot. I couldn't laugh about it right then, but I filed it away to laugh about it later.
After a while, we moved to the bed. They lifted the bed and I leaned over on it while standing. This was good because I felt like I could bury my face in the pillows during the contractions since I was basically screaming at the top of my lungs with each push. I labored like until my legs were jello and I couldn't stand anymore. At this point, I got on the bed. I noticed that Cheryl started to put on her gown, they got the bright lights out. She asked Candace and Greg to help me hold my legs during contractions. In my birth plan, I stated that I did NOT want any directed pushing. I wanted to do what my body felt like it needed to do. And, I knew having someone in my face telling me how/when to push would annoy the crap out of me. So, I just pushed when my body pushed and rested in between each contraction. I felt like I pushed forever, Candace said to me at one point that I was so close, and I said, "Don't tell me that!" because I didn't want false hope and at that point, I thought I'd be pushing forever.
The nurse told me that it was about to get really hard. She told me that I'd experience the ring of fire, and the only way to make it stop was to get the baby out. So, I prepared for that. I already knew about the ring of fire, but it was a good reminder in the moment. The baby's head FINALLY came out, and let me tell you what, the ring of fire is NO JOKE. I was screaming asking what to do because a lot of times they tell you not to push, so that everything can stretch out. But, no one said anything, so I just pushed with all my might and she came out at 8:45pm with her hands on her face. She weighed 9lbs. 8.5 oz. and she was 20 inches long.
She was placed right on my chest, and promptly pooped on me twice. Ha! I delivered the placenta shortly after that. After the placenta came out, I began hemorrhaging so things got a little chaotic. They were able to get the bleeding under control pretty quickly, I never got lightheaded and I didn't need a transfusion. Next was the absolute worst part, I had torn in a few places (1st -2nd degree tears), and she had to stitch me up. I think I was just done with being touched, and I was having a really hard time relaxing. They asked if they could give me a tiny bit of pain medication through the IV just to take the edge off, and I quickly agreed. Candace held my hand while she stitched me up, they weighed Millie, and Greg got to do skin to skin with her.
I'm so happy with my birth experience. I'm thankful for my birth team, I absolutely could not have done it without their support. Greg was more supportive and loving than I could have ever imagined. I think delivering Millie without drugs is the most empowering thing I've ever done. I am so glad that things went so smoothly and I was able to achieve my goal of natural, unmedicated birth.
